This is real life...

This was the first day I properly felt that I was a university student with university friends and had a university life. I woke up feeling that today was the day I would turn my life around and try to have a good experience.

I walked into the kitchen that morning and nearly retched everywhere. It smelled like gone-off cheese that had been left out for a good 7 months. I could not eat my breakfast in the kitchen and took it to my bedroom to devour.

It was Fresher's Fair on my campus so a group in my education class, plus a few extras got together to go round. I do not know why everyone bigs up Fresher's Fair as it was incredibly boring. Someone told us you could get a free Domino's pizza, we found the group giving the Domino's bags out. Inside it contained...a water bottle and a leaflet for Dominos. It was the saddest surprise I had ever been given. I spun a wheel at the Vape tent, got a free t-shirt, spun the wheel, and won free tickets to a theatre (which I never used).

We decided as a group it was not worth it and decided to go and play miniature golf in the

park opposite us. I started to get nervous because I was rubbish at golf and didn't feel confident enough to play in the big group I was in. There were 4 girls (including me) and 4 guys, so it was an even number, however, I didn't feel confident enough in this group. I tried, but there were bigger personalities than me and I did struggle. We paid for our tickets, as we were students with our ID we paid £6.

Someone made a bet, stating that whoever lost golf had to buy a round later at Spoons. I just knew it would be me. Spoiler....it was! I enjoyed the whole idea of being out with my friends, playing golf and having a laugh. However, me being me, I was paranoid about what people were thinking about me in general and got nervous and went quiet. It is a shame that happened though because I feel I could have had a better time if I hadn't thought these negative thoughts.

We went back to our accommodation and chilled out before dinner and then went off to Wetherspoons (a classic place for university students). As I was on medication, I was not

allowed to drink, luckily someone else wasn't drinking, but that was by choice. I wanted a drink but knew I shouldn't. I had to buy a round of drinks for 6 other people, costing around £15. However, this is where a downfall started and I started to feel alone again, even with people around. I was drinking Kombucha for the whole evening, which is fermented tea...or mouldy tea. I messaged a friend how much I wanted to go back to my accommodation, however, I didn't know my way back and I didn't want to walk back at 11:00 pm by myself. My friend called me and I went and sat and chatted with her, she made me feel so much better about myself. Make sure you stay in contact with people from home because then you have a separate relationship with people from univeristy and home and it gives a split from university life. There needs to be someone to pull you back to reality. I then went to the toilets and cried in there because I wanted my mum, but she was nearly 2 hours away and fast asleep.

After a while of waiting to go back to the university, we finally separated from some of our friends and I walked back to the university with those who were drunk. Once I got back to

my bedroom, I cried the rest of the night and even researched how to drop out of university.

Have you ever wanted to drop out of university?

• Yes
• No

Quote of the blog:

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow" - this quote goes nicely here because there was hope for tomorrow and I did live in the moment on that day. However, I didn't learn from yesterday, because I was still crying. However, you cannot just use this quote for one day, it is a continuous quote that should run throughout your life.

The next blog has a lot to it... runs on the beach, fixing my phone, first laundry session, pizza and a horror film.