Sticky Situation

Trigger warning: sexualised question

Before writing this post, I wanted to speak out on the topic of being continuously asked a sexualised question. This post is a deep post about something that happened to me, that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and scared.

My flatmate asked me if I wanted to walk to the McDonalds and get some food with him. I said yes because who doesn't want a good old McDonalds? My flatmate and I and my other flatmate and his friend all walked 45 minutes to get to McDonald's.

Side note: I have 5 other flatmates who live with me, 2 girls and 3 guys. One of the girls who is next door to me is a dancer, the guy opposite me is a gamer, then down the hall we have another guy who is a gamer (I spoke about him in the last blog), another guy who are a sports media student and a girly who is a mathematics student. There is a wide range of students, 2 education students, 2 gamers, a sports media and a dancer.

Mcdonald's nuggets?

• Yes
• No
• I don't know
• Poll_Editor_Answer_Placeholder

I went to McDonald's with the 2 gamers and my other flatmate's gamer friend. I ordered chicken nuggets, chips and a milkshake. Whilst we were walking to McDonald's a friend from my course sent me a message saying they saw I was in the area and wanted to know if I wanted to go round his. I politely declined and said sorry I am on my way to McDonald's with some friends. He constantly texted me saying he was lonely his parents were not around and that he wanted me to get in his bed. Yes, you read that correctly, he wanted me to get in his bed. He was supposed to be a coursemate, with whom I never expressed any interest in wanting a relationship or any interest at all. At first, I thought it was a funny joke, but after a while, I realised it was weird, creepy and disgusting. I showed my friends the messages and one of my friends messaged him to tell him to stop, but he didn't.

I messaged a group chat where he had done it to a few of the other girls too. I had no idea what to do I felt so disgusted and a little bit scared because I thought how am I going to face him after this? We walked back to uni, I was very quiet as I didn't know what to say or do, but I knew that when I got back my friends would be there to support me. I was very wrong about this, I walked into the kitchen and the first thing they said was don't tell anyone about this situation, you don't want him to feel like he's weird. I was fuming, I thought this guy could not message a few girls consistently telling them to get in his bed, it was the most uncomfortable situation I had ever been in.

I walked out of the kitchen and straight to my bedroom. I thought I wanted my mum and dad, I messaged them, but when I got no response called my Aunt. She had good advice, in the fact that she said, to hear him out if he speaks about it, but do not approach, do not be with him alone and stay out of his way. I don't know what I wanted to hear, but I think I wanted more. I was grateful for the advice, but after our chat, I cried a lot. My dad then called me and I told him about it, however, I generally felt no one understood how scared and alone I felt. I then called one of my closest friends from home and she picked up and was so understanding and gave me the response I wanted. She told me to speak to the university, however, I said I was going to give it a day or two and the next time I see him if anything happens I will speak to someone. Although, I didn't have a clue who I would speak to. I didn't know where to begin, I felt alone and like no one understood me.

Whilst I was crying my eyes out, a message popped up on my phone from my flatmate (the gamer, who I hang out in the kitchen with) with lots of duck pictures and we spoke about my duck obsession on the way to McDonald's. He never realised how much that meant to me, but it meant so much to me, in a sense I felt he was connecting with me as a friend and generally one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I will not ever forget that encounter. He also had messaged me are you okay, but I was chatting to those back home and responded with yeah thanks.

Quote of the blog:

"Don't be ashamed of your story...it will inspire others" - I hope no one has to go through something like this in life let alone university. To some people, this situation must seem like a brush off the shoulder, but because I felt uncomfortable and nervous and alone it made it 10x harder. If something like this does happen to you (and I am sorry if it does) speak to someone immediately, do not keep quiet about it to make the other person feel and look better. They didn't care about your feelings, don't care about theirs.

The next blog is about how confused I am in life about boys, chilling in the kitchen with my flatmates, online shopping and chilling in my room.