A beautiful day for a sad day!
- Feb 11, 2024
- 4 min read
Just before I started university, at the start of September a beautiful family friend sadly passed away.
It was very much a sad and sudden death. We were on a family trip back from France, Cherbourg. It had gotten to midnight and that was roughly the time she had passed away. At midnight we were just driving off the boat when some fireworks went off, almost her sending us a message saying "I am finally out of pain and with my husband". We didn't know this though until the next day. We got home early hours of the morning and went straight to bed.
My mum and dad were the first to wake up, I woke up before my sister and went downstairs to eat some breakfast at about 11:00 am. My mum and dad sat me down in the living room to tell me about her passing. It was one of the most shocking pieces of news I have ever had. I broke down crying. I cried so loud, it awoke my sister, who came running down the stairs to check I was okay.
This lovely lady was the most beautiful artist who had the best heart out there. There are so many memories I have with her and her family. It was so sad when they moved away from us as they were around the corner from where I lived, but I understood why they did it. We went to visit her and her daughter one day, but it was a day she was going to the hospital and we weren't able to see her.
Have you ever been to Swanage?
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A few weeks into starting university, my mum face-timed me to tell me the funeral had been set. It was on a day I was at university and it would be an inconvenience for them to come and pick me up and then drive to the funeral, so I would have to get a train.
Before coming to university, I had never taken the train by myself before, it was one of my major fears. However, I knew it had to be done, and I wanted to go and say goodbye to her properly. It was difficult as I didn't have very close friends to tell about how I was feeling, so I had a little cry in my room and booked some tickets.
The day of the funeral I woke up extremely early to get ready. The theme was floral, I had one piece of floral, but nothing 'smart' enough for the wedding. I used Google Maps to get to the train station and managed to get to where I needed to. I felt sick and nervous but knew that I would be proud of myself once I had done it. As I had to wait a while, I found my way to McDonalds and ate a blueberry muffin, hashbrown and a coffee. My mum, dad and sister arrived at Mcdonalds', it was the first time seeing them since I had started university, a bittersweet moment.
We got back on the road to Swanage, which is where the funeral was held. We met some friends beforehand and had a quick lunch. It was awkward as we were late for the funeral. However, I was happy as I was given the biggest booklet with the memoirs and I knew it would go straight up on my wall at university. My sister and I sat at the back and my mum and dad sat in front of us. I cannot lie I do not remember the funeral at all, as I cried the whole time and didn't stop. I found it difficult being there as the only other funeral I went to was her husband's. I found it difficult to talk to people because all I wanted to do was cry.
We then had to leave as I had to get a train back to my university. I said goodbye to everyone and got the train back. I had asked my friends to pick me up, so I didn't have to walk in the dark. When you are getting places at university by yourself and it is dark, make sure you have a friend who can at least walk back with you, no matter who.
Once I got back to university, I made a pot noodle, cried a little and went to sleep. It is so difficult losing a lost one, I feel it was more difficult finding out when the funeral was at university, as it gave me a lot of stress about being able to go, whether would I be missing lectures, would I miss something at university, how would I get there and how would I get back. So many questions ran through my head. I felt alone! However, in this situation, you need to think, you come first. You lost someone so dear to you, you come first.
My family friend who passed away is called Jenny Hawke and she left so much behind. She wrote a book of grief when her husband passed away. You can buy this on Amazon for £8.45.
This is her website:
Quote of the blog:
"May there be comfort in knowing that someone so special will never be forgotten" - this quote would be included in this blog. It is very tailored to the situation I was in. Jenny will never be forgotten by me and many others. In general, those who pass will never be forgotten as long as they were/are incredibly special to us.
The next blog is about chilling in the kitchen with my flatmates.
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